You're not alone.
I was someone who always, always, always, had to have music on in every situation. On the bus, earbuds. In the hallways at school, earbuds. Doing homework, music. Doing chores, music. Home alone, you guessed it, music. Every single night while I was falling asleep, music. Ask anyone I have ever been friends with or any of my family and they will in fact tell you that I am absolutely not exaggerating.
I had myself convinced that it was just because I loved music and that's what I told everyone else as well. But, later I realized that that was not the real reason behind it. And don’t get me wrong I do absolutely love music. Car jam sessions, dance parties, just dance, worship, and singing (even though I am terrible), doesn’t get any better than that.
But, as I got further and further into the time that I was living with constant music I realized I was doing it to avoid something. (And I’m not saying that if you always have music playing it’s an issue or that we’re the same. We might do it for the same reason or we might not.)
Anyways, what was I avoiding? I was avoiding silence. My thoughts. My doubts. My convictions. My fear. And pretty much anything else you could think of that you normally would acknowledge and work through. Super healthy and productive.
Once I realized what I was doing I felt super upset with myself. I wondered why I started. Why I gave up on myself. Why did I allow it to get that far? And why I didn’t talk to God or why I didn’t talk to anyone about it at all.
Doubt. To be uncertain about. We’ve all had doubts. We have all doubted ourselves, the legitimacy of a relationship, yours or someone else's capabilities, something someone says, or how well something is going to work. Doubt can be present in any or all situations if you really think about it. But, should it?
When you doubt yourself when you have God within you you’re doubting God. Read that again. When you doubt yourself when you have God within you, you’re doubting God. When you say “I’m not good enough to do that” or “I could never do that.” You are completely disregarding that with God, the creator of the universe, inside of you, you can do anything. Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” It was never about and never will be about our capabilities. It always has been and always will be about God's abilities. Psalm 147:5 says “great is our Lord, and abundant in strength.” So, when you doubt yourself you’re saying I’m not capable and I won’t ever be even with God. We need to shift that thought process. It needs to be, Wow I could never accomplish this by myself but, I have the power of the Holy Spirit within me and I know that He is capable.
You will see incredible changes in your life when you apply this shift in your thought process. I know this from personal experience. And you can use it in multiple areas of your life. Another big issue is fear and anxiety. There’s a song called God Of Revival that Phil Whikam sings and the whole song is just an amazing reminder of how powerful and amazing God truly is. In the chorus it says, “So why should my heart fear what you defeated, I will trust in you alone.” Think of how amazing that is.
Psalm 23:4 says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
Psalm 27:1 says, “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?”
Deuteronomy 31:8 says, “He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Once I grasped this concept my whole life was seriously changed. And I’m still not perfect. But I have significantly more confidence in God, I am content because I know he will never forsake me, and I know his plan is so much greater than mine.
And now that you’ve read through this you're probably thinking - why is this called Earbuds and Airpods? It’s because I’m not the girl walking through the hallways because she was so full of self doubt and fear that I didn’t think anyone truly wanted me around or wanted to talk to me. It’s because I don’t have to fall asleep listening to some kind of music or podcast so that I wasn’t left alone in my thoughts. I don’t remember who I told but I remember the first night that I was able to fall asleep without a mental battle without music on. And you best believe I moved at the speed of light to tell someone. (If you were the one I told PLEASE let me know!) I was so excited because I knew my prayers were answered, I knew I was changed, and I knew those chains were broken away.
So, if this is you. Even if it’s not necessarily music, maybe it’s people, tv, social media, alcohol, or anything else, I’m still talking to you. And I know a few of you reading this deal with this and I’m praying this speaks to you! I’m sharing this because I know how intense and convincing the thoughts the devil puts in your head are. But, God is more powerful than anything the devil sends your way.
So, stop listening to music as a defense mechanism(insert whatever your thing is), figure out what you're covering up, talk to someone about it, pray, work through it, and then have a dance party. And yes we're having a dance party regardless of what your cover up was! Because that mental shift and change in your life is absolutely worth celebrating.
I love you! Thanks for reading! And leave a like or comment if you enjoyed this post!
Love, Maddie